August 30, 2013

HAVING EVERYTHING YOU WANT

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...You can't have it all.

I cannot tell you the number of times where this phrase was uttered in my presence whether it was via television personalities discussing the role of a working mother or by people who I personally knew carrying this topic in small groups. Admittedly no one as ever said this directly to me but really, you don't have to. Comments like this are made to anyone within earshot as it's one of those dreaded blanket statements.

What does it mean? Well, it seems to mean that a woman should not expect to have a husband, children and a demanding career all at the same time while coming home relatively sane at the end of the day and still having time to enjoy the family that she helped to create. Unfortunately this burden is only placed on women. Why? I guess it's still not important for a man to spend a substantial amount of time with their children. Men are expected to be the main bread winners and therefore are expected to be away from home for as long as he needs in order to climb that ladder so he can better provide for his family. I find that to be a load of crap! My husbands time with our boys is extremely valuable, no less valuable than the time they spend with me. The fact that this is only placed on women is unfair! Guess what? Women, now more than ever, are expessing a strong desire to work outside of the home and provide for their families too. Sometime it isn't about desire but rather they MUST work due to finances. There are many reasons.

As for me, I feel like I have all that I want for now. I have a full time job with a company that I love, I see my kids every day and spend a lot of quality time with them. I have a loving marriage that isn't stressed due to a lack of time spent together so what's with that phrase anyways?

I believe women can have it all to some degree but it is a balancing act. Do you want that corner office with the amazing view more than you want those extra hours with your kids at night? Do you want to have dinner with your children more than you want that office? Will you settle for a nice offer, but not the corner one and still make it home in time for dinner? Maybe you definately want the corner office and still make it home in time for dinner then maybe you wait until the kids are in college? Maybe you'll make up those extra hours at work in the morning? Maybe that corner office is not as demanding as you thought. Maybe you get an amazing assistant who can lighten your work load...phew!

There are so many possibilities and options. No two jobs are alike and no two families are alike. Having it all doesnt have to mean having it all RIGHT NOW.

What are your thoughts?

August 25, 2013

HEYDENSHORE



We spent our Sunday afternoon down at Heydenshore. The day was a beautiful mix of warm and breezy and the water cashing onto the rocks was irresistible to say the least. I sat and watched the boys toss rocks into the lake. Aaron wowed them with his stone skipping abilities. This is the last Sunday that Aaron will have off before school starts so we made the most of it, doing simple things that add up to great memories.

August 22, 2013

THROWBACK THURSDAY: NINETEEN

the following was a post that I did on another blog that I used to have a long time ago. I have not read it over to edit it or anything because when I wrote it, I let it pour out of my heart. I literally wrote it and pressed "Publish" without going back.
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Nineteen to now seems like yesterday. It's hard to believe that so many years have gone by, but nevertheless it has. Back then there were so many things that I thought I knew, but didn't; I severely under estimated the hardships of life thinking how easy it would all be once I moved out of my "controlling" parents home and started living on my own. I would making my own decisions and learning from my own mistakes. Things weren't always so simple.

When I turned 19 (seriously, the day after my birthday) I met a man, a 31 year old man who seemed to know so much, much more than my nineteen year old self knew and to me that was amazing. I put my heart and soul into him, and when he told me he "loved" me for the first time, I thought I had won this amazing prize. I fell hard, too hard, harder than anyone should every fall. I started thinking that my life would be nothing without him and that he completed me, he was my everything.

For most of the year I was living in Canada going to college, while he had his life in New Jersey. I would travel as much as I could and see him on all my visits back home, back when Jersey was home. In my mind I had it all. I would finish college and we would get married, buy a house and pop out two kids and live oh so happily ever after. Life, or God had other plans for me though, he knew what I didn't know.

I would soon come to find out that I was "mistress". My 31 year old boyfriend already had a girlfriend before he started dating me. I missed so many sign, the way he never answered the phone when I called from college, the way I could tell he was going to a different room before it was "safe" to talk, the way he never came to visit me, the way he never called me, the way we would only see each other on certain days when I was in town, the way I never really met any of his family, the way his best friend seemed so awkward around me and the biggest sign of all, the way my heart knew something was off.

How did I find out he was cheat? To make a long story short, lets just say I had a strong gut feeling one day and I pressed "play" on his answering machine, then I pressed "redial" on his phone and had a very interesting conversation with a certain person, which then led to a big confrontation with him and an accidental meet up with his girlfriend. We both learned the truth. Let me just say that now at 26, I am not for looking through someone personal property. Truth was I should have broken up with way before I found out his was cheating.

There are so many things that I learned from my year with him. I look back now and I don't understand how I could have been so naive and trusted him so much when he never gave me a reason to trust him. I learned that NO man should be your everything nor should he complete you because before you get into a relationship you should already be a complete person. My husband is amazing but he doesn't complete me, he adds his own complete self to me. I thought I couldn't live without him, well he's gone now and I'm still living, better now than before.

Rachael Yamagata's Happenstance was the soundtrack to my life that year, especially this song.

August 21, 2013

BACK TO SCHOOL BASICS

As a mother of a soon to be 1st grader, I am not well versed in the ways of Back-to-school shopping. My first day of school etiquette could use a little help as I have no idea what school supplies Joshua would need. I did know, however, that there would be 3 main things my little guy would need, so I figured I would start there.

The Backpack



Truthfully, Joshua did not need a new backpack as the one he had from Kindergarten worked just fine and still looked pretty new even though he used it everyday. Purchasing a new backpack as part of the B2S ritual is sort of a right of passage.  After work the four of us stopped into our local Winners (similar to TJ Maxx). We selected a few backpacks that we like then let Joshua select the one he wanted. We ended up with this black and red Converse Backpack which are Joshua's two favourite colors.

Before committing to it, I stuffed a large lunch box it in and made sure there was still enough room for notebooks, a pencil case and his water bottle. We also had him try it on to make sure It wasn't too small or too big.

Lunch Bag

I know that I haven't had chance to test this product out but I do have a lunch bag of the same material myself made by the same company. I love the feel and style of this bag (the piping is more bright in person that the picture displays). When it comes to design, boys are usually limited to vehicals and sports so I was please to find that Target had many other options. Joshua loved the monster theme! I love that the material is stretchy especially since at the time of purchase I did not have his lunch container so I required a bag that would accommodate different shapes and sizes. I also love that when empty, it colapse to less than and inch in thickness. Talk about easy storage! If you have kids that can be a little messy do not fret, you can toss this into the washing mashine and let it hang dry. Being that it's made of bodysuit material it will dry in no time.

Lunch Container



Obsessed. That is the word I use to describe the love of lunch containers and packing lunches. Finding "the right one" has been difficult to say the least. Poor Aaron thinks that I've completed my search only to be blindsided with yet another lunch container purchase! Husband better deal with it! This is his life now...

Container #1: This is a Rubbermade brand that I purchases at Walmart. It comes with two interchangeable compartments, so depending on my mood and Joshua's lunch I can add or remove them with ease. Why was I not satisfied? Well I dont like the idea of a lot of small pieces, especially with a 6 year old who is just learning to be responsible for his thing outside of the home. I have decided to keep this container though as a backup.

Container #2:  The brand is Fit & Fresh and until yesterday I had never heard of them. I found this at Winners the same time we got his backpack. I must say that I love the colours. The lid is easy to remove and even thought it's a different shape, it fit perfectly into Joshua's lunch bag. The container consists of three compartments all together. The top tray is removable but unlike #1, there is only one removable part rather than two.

So does that mean I am finished with my Lunch Container hunt?! Not a fat chance! I did some more research into Fit & Fresh and found the Container #3, the one that I had wanted all along and to make matters worse for my container addiction, they are super affordable. A certain someone may decide to make an online purchase...we'll see ;)

Links:

Lunch Bag
Container 1
Containers 2 & 3

How is your back to school shopping going?

August 19, 2013

WEEKEND KIDDIE POOLSIDE


After roughly two weeks of late September weather (no complaints here) we were given a true summer this weekend. It was Aaron's birthday on Sunday so we spent some time with my inlaws out in the country.

The boys enjoyed their kiddie pool. 

Aaron and I enjoyed out beer on the patio. 

Call me lazy but there is something so charming about the ideas of sitting...sitting and doing nothing but enjoying your thought. After having two energetic boys you learn to appreciate simple things like unbroken moments of thinking. Talk about simple things huh! 

I took the Monday off work, Aaron had that day off too so we took the boys into the backyard again for some pool time.

This time daddy joined in.

August 17, 2013

CURRENTLY


Excited about: There are a few things that are making my heart flutter with excitement. I could devote an entire blog post to the lengthy list but in the efforts of not becoming long winded I will keep it short. Back-to-School! My first baby is going into the 1st grade and I will admit that it is bitter sweet. It makes me sad to think of the day the when I won't be able to hold him in my lap and cuddle him and kiss him. I know those days are miles away. I know that the best thing to do is to hold on to those moments and cherish them, live in them. This is why I am living for school supplies, backpacks, packing lunches and new school clothes.

Hating: I've gotten into a major funk about a few things. I honestly don't remember a single time in my life where I lacked such confidence. Was it when I was 12 year's old wear those big round speckled framed glasses, when I wore no makeup, had bad teeth and weight 80 pounds soaking wet? No. Back then I thought that I could seriously wed Leonardo Dicaprio if I ever met me. Was it when I was 14 and had braces, glasses and wore flared jeans that were two sizes too big? Nah...then I loved my braces because lucky for me everyone had them who needed them and a lot of kids that I went to school with did. Now that I am out of middles school, high school, braces and glasses (well, when I want to be) I feel so down. One good thing about myself is that I always make an effort to improve so I will be getting my act in gear and start this road to self renewal!

Listening to: Recently I have started this love affair with instrumental piano music (my husbands doing I swear). I find it so calming to write to or to have as background music while I cook dinners. It mellows me out. In addition I cannot get the song Cruise by Florida Georgia Line out of my head! I've been humming the tune without even realizing it now, not until I am half way though "..In this brand new Chevy with a lift kit, would look a hell of a lot better with you up in it.." catchy, huh?!

Drinking: I've got a bottle of Coor's Light, light means low calories right? hmm, I'll have to check that. What I love about beer is the way the icy coldness feels on the back of your throat. It's the weekend, and I've had a long week and right now we only have beer, tequila and banana liquor. Last week Aaron and I drank too much tequila so I'm scared of that stuff right now..beer it is!

Quoting: Thomas A. Edison - "Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time."

August 11, 2013

BOWMANVILLE ZOO







After an entire summer of Aaron working weekends, he was finally give his second Sunday off! We took full advantage of our day. When we started out we had no preconceived plans, just a car and hope; hope that a beautiful day was ahead of us. We got in the car and started driving east on the highway. We drove, not knowing where exactly were were going, just the general directions. We drove around for a while until we drove past a sign reading "Bowmanvill Zoo." Done! We decided to check it out! The boys had a blast and us grown ups did as well. What I did love about the zoo was that it was small! No miles and miles of land separating one exhibit from the next. No large hills to climb, no annoying crowds, just a few people who much like us wanted to take their kids out of a Sunday afternoon.