August 30, 2013



...You can't have it all.

I cannot tell you the number of times where this phrase was uttered in my presence whether it was via television personalities discussing the role of a working mother or by people who I personally knew carrying this topic in small groups. Admittedly no one as ever said this directly to me but really, you don't have to. Comments like this are made to anyone within earshot as it's one of those dreaded blanket statements.

What does it mean? Well, it seems to mean that a woman should not expect to have a husband, children and a demanding career all at the same time while coming home relatively sane at the end of the day and still having time to enjoy the family that she helped to create. Unfortunately this burden is only placed on women. Why? I guess it's still not important for a man to spend a substantial amount of time with their children. Men are expected to be the main bread winners and therefore are expected to be away from home for as long as he needs in order to climb that ladder so he can better provide for his family. I find that to be a load of crap! My husbands time with our boys is extremely valuable, no less valuable than the time they spend with me. The fact that this is only placed on women is unfair! Guess what? Women, now more than ever, are expessing a strong desire to work outside of the home and provide for their families too. Sometime it isn't about desire but rather they MUST work due to finances. There are many reasons.

As for me, I feel like I have all that I want for now. I have a full time job with a company that I love, I see my kids every day and spend a lot of quality time with them. I have a loving marriage that isn't stressed due to a lack of time spent together so what's with that phrase anyways?

I believe women can have it all to some degree but it is a balancing act. Do you want that corner office with the amazing view more than you want those extra hours with your kids at night? Do you want to have dinner with your children more than you want that office? Will you settle for a nice offer, but not the corner one and still make it home in time for dinner? Maybe you definately want the corner office and still make it home in time for dinner then maybe you wait until the kids are in college? Maybe you'll make up those extra hours at work in the morning? Maybe that corner office is not as demanding as you thought. Maybe you get an amazing assistant who can lighten your work load...phew!

There are so many possibilities and options. No two jobs are alike and no two families are alike. Having it all doesnt have to mean having it all RIGHT NOW.

What are your thoughts?

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